The downside of it all...

Let me paint you a picture of last night.

I awoke with a start at 1:30am, a grumbling in my stomach, a feeling of uneasiness creeping up on me quickly. I reached for my toilet paper, and to my horror, saw that I only had a tiny bit left, not nearly enough for what was to come. But, I ran to the squat pot toilet and handled the situation as best I could.

Returning to my room, I felt a now familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, and knew that I was going to throw up, eventually. Now, keep in mind that there are some people out there who handle throwing up very well. Maybe years of drunken nights are the reason for this, or maybe some people are just better at it than I am. But, as I had not puked for years before arriving in Nepal, I have been out of practice. Instinctively, I know I am going to get sick, but it takes quite a while to happen. This is exactly how last night played out.

By 2am, I was pacing the rooftop area where my room is located. In the rain. The mosquitoes were loving every minute of my exposed arms and legs, and I was silently praying for the puke to come. And then my heart started pounding, my eyes starting watering, and the upheaval started. I coughed, I gagged, I spit, and I vomited lunch and dinner onto the wet pavement outside my room.

I waited for a few seconds afterwards, my nose running and tears steaming down my cheeks from the force of it all, to see if the dull pain in my stomach had subsided. Unfortunately, it had not. I knew there was more to come.

So, I got out a book, started reading, and waited for the feeling to come again. This time, I had to make another mad dash for the toilet, but, to my horror, I was toilet paper-less. In a country like Nepal, this is no problem. I have never seen a single piece of toilet paper at the orphanage, and I know the kids don't use it. I assume they use their hands and water. Too gross for me to think about, as I hold those grubby little hands every day. But, this system, however effective it might be in this country, is not what I am accustomed to. So, I used the next best thing I could scrounge up: plain white paper. And not nice, soft notebook paper, but a hard, stiff piece of white paper that I found in my room. It was not pleasant, but that was to be the trend of the night.

To make a long, drawn out, and disgusting, story short, I stayed up puking and running to the toilet until about 5am, when the pain finally went away and I could lay down without feeling like a ton of bricks were crushing my insides.

I have been in Nepal for two weeks now and this was the third night that I have gotten sick. This one was the worst and most drawn out night, but I can't seem to figure out the root of the problem. The guys who work here at the orphanage have offered to take me to the doctor, but I am giving it one more night. Tonight is an important night. If I get sick, I give in and go to the doctors, and if I sleep through the night, than I chalk it up to bad food.

I had an easy relaxing day today, as I was rightfully excused from doing anything with the kids, and stayed in bed most of the day. I caught up on sleep, finished the book I started last night, and silently begged my body to stop treating me like shit.

I have eaten carefully today, measuring everything I put in my mouth and wondering if it will come pouring out over the next couple of hours. I am hesitant to go to sleep, for a slight fear of waking up with that dreadful feeling once again. But, only time will tell.

For now, as dramatic as my night was, and as much of a hassle as being sick can be, everything else is still going great in Kathmandu. I am making arrangements to get my visa and flight for India, and am excited for the next of couple weeks to come.

Don't worry about me -- sickness is a part of traveling (especially in this part of the world). And sorry for the details of this blog, just thought I'd share my experience with you as vividly as possible! Hope everyone is doing well back home. Miss you all. As always, much love.